Monday, December 24, 2007

Damn that didn't take long

On Sunday I asked the rhetorical question of who would go first Skiles or Pax. I guess we found out today with the dismissal of Skiles. I think the finger should be pointed at Pax he assembled this shit stick Skiles did the best with what he was handed. Pax went out and overpaid for Wallace, drafted poorly, didn't address any of the holes on this team and fell in love with his draft picks and refused to part with any of them to improve this team. I don't see how any of that was Skiles fault.

An Old School Merry Christmas from TD

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Bulls

As much as I love the Bulls I am disappointed beyond words with their performance this year. While I was watching the game last night I began thinking about the assembly of this team it is basically a bunch of lottery picks and role players. Hinrich 7th, Gordon 3rd, Deng 7th, Thomas 4th, Noah 9th. Hinrich is an average NBA player, Thomas and Noah do the same thing as Wallace however I think that Thomas has a huge upside, Deng is a sidekick on a good team and Gordon is the only one who demands a double team. This being said we still lack a post presence. I am proposing a trade for Pau Gasol, we send Noce, Noah and if we need another body to make salaries match Duhon or Thabo. Our starting five would be Gasol, Wallace, Deng, Gordon and Hinrich when we go to the post and Gasol gets double teamed he can dish to an open Gordon or a slashing Deng. This would leave Smith, Thomas and Gray off the bench.

I've heard that Sam Smith at the Chicago Tribune is proposing a trade for Tracy McGrady and I say no. He is only twenty eight but has a ton of miles and a bad back and we would probably overpay to get him. I think that Houston is going in a different direction and would love to unload him. I do think it will be interesting to see what happens as we near the trade wire. And finally Bulls fans who should go Pax or Skiles? Let me know what you think

Friday, December 21, 2007

Merry Christmas

I found this on the internet and I thought as someone who grew up playing Pac Man I thought that this was cool. Merry Christmas

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Lynne Spears is the last person I need advice from

I read yesterday that on top of her younger daughter being pregnant her parenting book has been put on indefinite hold. Seeing Britney go from pop queen to gutter tramp to rehab to where ever she is now was evidence enough I didn't need her help. But now that her sixteen year old daughter is pregnant just reinforces my inkling. In Jamie Lynn's statement she said it was with her longtime boyfriend so it is okay. WTF? You're sixteen how longtime is your longtime boyfriend? I have had one longtime girlfriend and I am married to her! I hope that they pull her crappy show off of Nick not because she is pregnant but because it is horribly bad. My younger daughter watches it and whenever it starts my eyes begin to bleed but I digress. The report on the book is that it was going to have strong elements of faith in it. I can only guess she is praying to a different God than I am unless her prayer was something like "Dear God give me one daughter who will deliver me from my trailer park existence and a second who will follow my footsteps into teen pregnancy, Amen"

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

IT rant of the week

I've not had one of these in a while so here it goes. The past week we've had e-mail problems at our HQ. The problem is with the bridgehead server. What is a bridgehead server you ask? This server basically transfer mail from our agency to the outside world. We have no redundancy built into the system. This is what we call in my country stupid! Well when the server shits the bed what do they do to notify us? Drum roll please! Send us an e-mail! Survey says stupid! I believe it was 1876 when Alexander Graham Bell invented something called the telephone which is still in use today. Why not call us! Because it makes too much sense to keep us in the loop! All we hear from our upper management is service your customers at your site. How can we do this if we have no idea what is going on? I think that we have seagull management. What is that you ask? Someone who swoops in shits all over the place then flies away. These are the same people who frustrate anyone who has any technical expertice and when they leave hire people who have no clue what they are doing to replace them and work to death the people who chose to stay with their unrealistic expectations.

Friday, December 14, 2007

For some reason I attract these people

I originally was going to title this post "We grow them stupid here in Iowa" however when I reflected on this I remembered when I lived in Illinois and Indiana I had nut job neighbors who believed this crap as well. So I am wondering if this is a Midwestern problem? What is this crap you ask? Let me take you back to Tuesday night. I went to the mailbox and I noticed an envelope with a return address that I did not recognize and I decided to open it, in retrospect I should have tossed it. I pull out the papers and It is a photocopy of an article about why the media is ignoring Ron Paul. The reason according to them is that he opposes the "New World Order" and one world government and supports evicting the UN from US soil. I am not a huge fan of the UN but I don't buy into any of these conspiracy theories. The next page is an introductory letter from a guy from a town North of me. He tells me he was born on the "day the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki". It must have been a long labor because Hiroshima was bombed on August 6th and Nagasaki three days later on the 9th. He then goes on to enlighten me about how the American Civil War was fought because of the Pope's hatred of our Constitution. No mention of states rights or slavery Pius IX hated our freedom of religion and our ability to choose something other than Roman Catholicism. Interesting. The Papacy is currently waging war against Muslims, Buddhists, and Christians. I thought Catholics are Christians? After this diatribe he goes on to try to sell me a fireplace! Why do I seem to attract these people? Everywhere I have lived these people find me I wish the would loose me.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

An interview with Isiah

TDizzle: Good morning coach thank you for taking your time this morning.
Isiah: My pleasure T Dizzle.
TD: Let’s start off with the positive. You have a great eye for talent and finding some hidden gems. Can you walk me through your process?
IT: Well TDizzle we all have certain things we like, blondes, brunets, red heads
TD: Are we still talking about basketball?
IT: I am sorry I digressed. I look for a high basketball IQ and raw talent. In Toronto I drafted Marcus Camby and Tracy McGrady both of which I think you will agree are above average players. And here in New York I think I have drafted well Channing Frye, David Lee, Renaldo Balkman and
TD: Let’s not get too crazy here! I’ll give you Frye and Lee I think the jury is out on Balkman for another year or two. Now I want to move on to the construction of the current Knicks roster. What was your thinking? You trade for two shoot first guards, Marbury and Francis then sign Crawford, give away two lottery picks for an underachieving cardiac case in Curry and then your draft day trade for overweight malcontent Zach Randolph.. Why not construct a team like your Detroit teams Dumars, Rodman, and Laimbeer. You guys were nasty.
IT: That is a good question one that I have no answer to. But I will walk you through the process. When we acquired Marbury and Francis I thought no one has ever tried this before and quite honestly I had hoped they would drive each other to play at a higher level. However that didn’t happen. Then I added Crawford to push them. Still nothing, the only way this team could win is if we played with more than one ball on the court.
TD: You have failed in Indiana, drove the CBA into the ground and now the sexual harassment lawsuit has been settled, I guess the obvious question is there anything you can do to get fired?
IT: Believe me I ask myself that same question. When I got here I thought to myself what did I get myself into? I thought of quitting but I am a competitor and have never quit anything, failed yes; quit no. So I started with the wild contracts still nothing. Drive up the trade value for Curry when no one else was bidding, still nothing. Naturally I had to kick it into overdrive. Sexual harassment was the next logical step.
TD: I don’t see that but I’ll take your word on thanks again.
IT: My pleasure TDizzle.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Welcome back Ben

Ben was sick last night! He came out on fire and didn't let up. He finished with 27 points shooting 12-19 and 3-6 from three point range. He looked like the Gordon of last year when he would launch a shot and you knew it was good. When he plays like this the Bulls are tough to beat and I want him extended. I think ultimately he will be and at a little more that $10 million per. He is the only true offensive threat the Bulls have and I think that other teams know that and game plan against him. This will mean other players will need to step up especially Deng. Tyrus Thomas had a good performance last night as well he played with energy and hit the boards aggressively. I am hoping to see these two continue this tonight against Indiana and Friday against the Knicks. We need to redeem ourselves from that loss to the Knicks at the Garden and hopefully drive another nail into Zeke's coffin, as it is there are probably more nails than coffin. On top of that our schedule gets a little tougher in the next two weeks with games against San Antonio, Houston, Orlando and the Lakers so we need to fatten up now.

You better not shout, you better not cry

Because K Fuk is coming to town! The Cubs landed Kosuke Fukudome yesterday. He signed a four year $50 million dollar deal. And did I mention that he is coming off of elbow surgery and spent the final two months of his Japanese teams season on the disabled list? Thank God he is not a pitcher I can't wait for the signs next season extolling K-Fuk springing up in the bleachers. I think they are hoping that he turns out to be another Ichiro or Hideki Matsui, time will tell. I guess you will have an outfield of Soriano, Pie and Fukudome. The Cubs seem unwilling to pronounce Pie a bust and move on but I am sure that will be obvious again this season. I can't wait for the Fukudome press conference I hope he shows up dressed like Long Duck Dong from Sixteen Candles and talks about Grandpa Baker's hyena not getting irritated. I can dream can't I?

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Bulls

Friday night I watched the Bulls vs the Pistons on ESPN and I could not be more pleased. It was the gritty game I expected from them. Whenever they play the Pistons it is like someone flipped a switch and their game is on. Saturday night too little too late KG was just too much. It really pissed me off that they did not pull off the trade for him. I would have gladly given up Deng for KG probably Hinrich too. Gordon has been off but he and KG would be deadly. This led me to think who are five players I would rather have on the Bulls than most of the players on this roster.

  1. Tim Duncan-I believe he is the best power forward to ever play the game and he has the hardware to prove it.
  2. Kevin Garnett-He is in the Pantheon of greats will eventually get some hardware of his own.
  3. Dwight Howard-This kid is a monster and will have some rings and MVP's too.
  4. Shawn Marion-He could be fun to watch with Tyrus Thomas if he ever gets off the bench.
  5. Chris Bosh-He is young like Howard and will be a force for a long time.

I know this list is big man intensive but I feel like this is what they are missing most. I almost put Kobe and Melo on this list or even DWade. Kobe like most of them are pipe dreams, there is something about Melo that I don't like but he can ball and Wade is just and upgrade over any guard on the roster.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Current events

Thought on mall security

I am not trying to poke fun at the tragedy in Omaha. But on my way back from the library I saw an article at the news stand that bothered me. It read “Tragedy in Omaha opens old debate about arming mall security guards”. What? Did I miss something? I support the second amendment and I am a firearm owner but I never have heard of this argument. I am not sure I want some of the people I’ve seen as mall guards picking out their own clothes let alone having the option of deadly force. I mean have you seen some of these mouth breathers? Some of the ads I’ve seen practically scream felons and the mentally unstable encouraged to apply! I am willing to bet fifty percent of them are people who cannot pass the psychological exam for their local police departments and spent their time trolling the food court searching for a girl who loves a man in uniform. I am sure the girls are dreaming of riding in the mall golf cart and getting their hands on your minimum wage level paycheck. The next twenty five percent are the local Rambo’s walking around like Jack Bauer waiting for some crisis to arise so they can pull their concealed boot knife and save the day. They have attempted to join the military and either been rejected or are in the National Guard and want the danger to extend from one weekend a month to their everyday lives. The final twenty five percent are off duty police officers who are trained on the proper use of deadly force. I am fine with these people guarding the malls but the other two stick to Call of Duty and role playing games.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Dumbest question ever

Last night my daughter and I went to the Iowa/Iowa State women's basketball game. Before the game began we were talking to the people who were sitting around us when the inevitable question was asked "where are you from originally"? I told them I was from Chicago, next question was "how do you like Iowa"? I told them I like it but I miss Chicago. Then it happened "What does Chicago have that Des Moines does not"? I politely sipped my diet Coke and smiled afterwards my daughter said it was the stupidest thing she ever heard. So TDizzle has come up with a list now this is not exhaustive just what came to mind and in no particular order

Things Chicago has that Des Moines does not

  1. 3 million people
  2. Better pizza and hot dogs
  3. World class museums and theatre
  4. Michigan Avenue shopping
  5. Marshall Fields on State Street (it is now Macy's but it will always be Fields to me)
  6. State Street
  7. The Beloved White Sox, Bulls and Bears (DSM has the I-Cubs who at times have been better than the Chicago Cubs)
  8. Hot women
  9. Beautiful parks and beaches
  10. A majestic skyline, I love to drive up Lake Shore Drive and get that first glimpse of the skyline
  11. Architecture
  12. Diversity

I will admit I am a little biased but I loved every minute of working downtown just being able to walk around absorb the energy. There are things I love about being in Iowa and my quality of life here but I will always be a Chicagoan at heart.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

My Sox, My Sox! Why have you forsaken me!

Jesus uttered words very similar to this before he died on the cross. Not that I am raising the Sox to the level of deity because I am not but I feel this way. Kenny Williams has blown it again. First we needed a shortstop we loose out on Edgar Renteria to the Tigers. But no fear we resign Juan Uribe! Uribe blows. Then we try to land Torii Hunter and out of nowhere come the Angels and sign him. The Angels! Then we trade for Orlando Cabrera who is not bad but he is thirty-three! In shortstop years that is old. We give up Garland to get him. Garland is twenty-eight and has been a workhorse. Williams didn't want to pay him is what it boiled down to. Hasn't Kenny heard of diminished skills? That is usually the age when players in his position start to decline. Andruw Jones is not coming to the South Side so are we going to overpay for Aaron Rowand? Then the death blow. The Tigers trade for Miguel Cabrera AND Dontrelle Willis. Ozzie and Kenny made it sound like Miguel was already here just like they did with Torii Hunter. Willis will strengthen an already strong rotation. So we begin the season with a shaky rotation, no answers at third or center field and everyone left over from the glorious 2005 season one year older. I am afraid the picture above from 2005 will be the only World Series celebration I live to see. Yes I am on the ledge

Monday, December 3, 2007

Weekend sports action

First off

Man they were awesome Saturday night. Gordon was on fire; when he plays like this I want to keep him. He was just in the zone Deng was playing like he is supposed to and someone must have spiked Big Ben's punch because he was awesome as well. He definately played like the $15 million dollar man. When he plays with that tyoe of energy they are hard to beat. Granted they played the Bobcats but nonetheless they play Dallas tonight and the Bobcats again this week. Hopefully they will bring their A+ game tonight if they leave their intensity at home it will be ugly.

And now onto The Bears

I thought that this game was theirs. Grossman looked good and the defense created turnovers that should have led to more points. However Hester's dropped touchdown pass, the offensive lines numerous penalties hurt us and then their inability to protect Grossman led to field goals instead of touchdowns. This game should have been won by two touchdowns, I mean Eli Manning practically gave the game to us. Oh well.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Something different

I am a huge fan of the Onion; I religiously check their website every Wednesday to see the new opinion articles. I find these hilarious especially the Herbert Kornfeld articles well I decided to try my hand at it.

Whether we win or loose God will love you but I won’t.
By Coach Bill Jones; Head Football Coach Crestwood Christian School

That’s right I said it! Everyday five days a week you hear this from your teachers here at Crestwood Christian. While it is true that God’s love is everlasting, perfect and unconditional but mine is not. I am tired of losing to the public schools in our league. Year after year they hand us our asses and what do we do after they’ve used and abused us? We get on the bus; lick our wounds and pray for healing! How about this? PRAY FOR A WIN! Jeremiah; aren’t you always talking about how Moses led his people to the Promised Land? Well there is a promised land in football too; it’s called the end zone! Maybe you should pray to be led there! He split the Red Sea so you would think splitting our opponent’s defense would be child’s play. We deserve it you’re all good servants as you put it. Wouldn’t he want to see you win and be happy? All the praying and talking to the other team after the game about their salvation should have earned us some points. It is time to call them in. It is getting harder for me to go to coaches meetings or the grocery store for that matter. All I hear is their snickering “he coaches THAT team and they can’t even win a stinking game”, “you expect me to go to church”? “If God can’t help them he sure as hell is not going to do anything for me”! So you not praying for a win will actually do more to hurt us than help us. You want more souls? Before we go out there get on your knees and pray for a win! Afterwards your words of testimony will not fall on deaf ears! If we win then we can call it a miracle! God’s miracle! After all didn’t that guy get some souls after he did that water thing at the wedding? He healed some dead guy too so get up after that tackle and don’t cry this time Luke! Your bruised ribs and bruised ego will be an after thought to him. These are not tears of joy I am crying! Let’s go out there and win this game!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Political thoughts

Polls here in Iowa have Mike Huckabee leading with a little over four weeks until the Iowa Caucus. People here in Iowa really take their caucus seriously on both sides of the aisle. I am constantly being hounded by the Obama people. Part of this is my own fault because I gave them my number and second because I am registered as an Independent. I tend to be more conservative however there is something appealing about Obama. I think because he is just different than Clinton and Edwards. I loved seeing Bill on TV during his administration I even voted for him because he had something special about him in 92. I may have been the only College Republican to vote for him ever. Huckabee is also growing on me, you may remember I mentioned him as a possible VP candidate with Rudy. I am tired of Mitt Romney and wish he would go away. It has nothing to do with him being a Mormon he just strikes me as disingenuous and will say whatever it takes to get elected, much like Hillary Clinton. I know he picked up some endorsement from the co-founder of the Christian Coalition for his sterling Conservative principles. Like his support for abortion? Like I said he will do anything and say anything to get elected, do we really need another leader like that?

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Random TV thoughts

First off the Unit

The team deploys on one of the first post Hector era missions to stop an assassination. Prior to deployment Bob has a crisis of conscience and begins to see past kills. He goes as far as seeing the chaplain who himself is a former shooter for the unit. Bob is having a hard time differentiating the difference between murder and killing. This comes to a head once the team is deployed to Macedonia and Bob almost blows the mission. He confides in Jonas who tells him they have all faced this and he needs to get passed it. Bob does not let the team down and once the mission is over and they return to post he tells Jonas that he enjoys the job. I thought that this episode showed a human element to elite soldiers who are often perceived as mindless automatons.

Next is one of my new favorite shows Chuck

Chuck has been picked up for a full season! The rumor was that the writers strike was endangering the status of this show. I really enjoy this show, I know that is obvious, but the last few episodes have been great. If you have missed them check out YouTube and And finally Life has been picked up as well. This show is headlined by Damian Lewis; he is a British actor who also headlined HBO's Band of Brothers. Once again if you have missed it check it out on or YouTube

It's about time the Bulls woke up

The game was not televised in Iowa last night but I was able to listen via With Hinrich firmly attached to the bench Deng and Gordon came alive. I think that Duhon was able to get them in the flow of the offense better than Hinrich has been able to lately. Maybe Hinrich is morning the loss of his pet pig but with all the money he is earning he needs to snap out of it. I want to see two things more often. The first is early on feeding the ball into Big Ben in the post. All he needs to do is dribble once or twice and slam it. High percentage shop and a score. Second I want to see Tyrus Thomas just slam everything he can get his hands on around the basket. Even if he has to go thru the rim himself like a Looney Tunes character. I think they should each have ten points and ten rebounds a game. We play Charlotte on Saturday so hopefully we will have consecutive wins after loses to shitty teams like the Knicks.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Thanks Bears

The Bulls were dredful this weekend. I think that this team has quit on Scott Skiles and Saturday we were definately the losers in the Eddy Curry deal. I liked Eddy and I hated to see him go however I think other than the heart issue he could not get along with Skiles ditto for Tyson Chandler. I would take either of them over Noah. The weekend was not a total loss the Bears rescued it for me. That was the best game I've seen in a while. Rex looked competent and Hester ran back a punt and a kickoff. If it were not for him this game would have been ugly

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Interview with Charlie Weis

TDizzle: Thanks for meeting with me coach.
CW: No problem TDizzle.
TD: I am not going to beat around the bush this season is a total failure 2-9. I don't think that the alumni are going to stand for that. I had a boss who was a ND alumnus and during a meeting some tool trying to kiss up to him asked a question about ND football. Our boss was named Blair went on about 9-2 was expected and a bowl game was expected every year. Of course Blair was an asshole, which is to be expected if you were named Blair, and could not get into ND today if his life depended on it. I guess the question in all of this is do you feel like you let people like him down?
CW: 2-9 is misleading. We were in a lot of those games.
TD: Really your first three games, Ga.Tech, Penn State and Michigan, the total scores were 102-13. My degree is not in math but that adds up to an ass kicking. Then you go on to lose to MSU and my beloved Purdue. The points total was still 64-33 and then your first win against UCLA. Is it because all of Ty Willinghams' recruits are gone?
CW: We do not speak his name around here.
TD: Isn't that from Harry Potter?
CW: I thought I heard that somewhere before.
TD: This leads to my next question, are you overrated as a coach?
CW: Overrated is such a strong word. Sure at New England I had more tools but they didn't play the quality of opponents we play here. Come on this year alone we had Navy, Air Force, Duke and Stanford this week.
TD: Are you saying that those teams are better than Pittsburgh and Indianapolis? Or the Bears for that matter. The last quarterback in Navy's history to beat you was Roger Staubach! I cannot help to wonder if your success was due to Bill Belichick?
CW: Yes, I would agree with that assessment. Bill may fare better than me against the ships, tanks and airplanes.
TD: What are you talking about? I appreciate you candor though. It takes a big person to admit they are overrated but hey you just signed an extension until 2015. You will be driving assholes like Blair and the other mouth breathers well into the next decade so buck up there Charlie!
CW: It has been a pleasure TDizzle.
TD: Especially from this side of the table.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Motion City Soundtrack

A friend of mine asked me if I've ever heard of this band and I told him no so I googled them. My buddy told me I think you will like them so I asked a few people if they have heard of them. First I asked my friend Brian and he had heard of them and had a few albums which he said he will eventually loan to me. I asked Steve in DC and he had not heard of them same with Millie in CT. Next I went to YouTube and found a few videos one was live and had horrible audio but someone made a video with clips from Chuck, I am a huge fan of this show so take a look.

One of the other things I enjoy about the show is the music. The producers have included some good indie rock as well, although last weeks episode they used music from a Brittney Spears song which is troubling. Enjoy

Fox and Big Ten Network

You guys suck! See below
Saturday: Big Ten Network you have listed Purdue vs Indiana, the old Oaken Bucket game

After beating Notre Dame this is the second most important game my alma mater plays. So needless to say I was excited. What do you assholes at BTN do? You show the Iowa vs Western Michigan game! I have seen about four Purdue games this season but this is the one that mattered! Granted we lost but that was besides the poin! Televise the game you have listed!
Sunday: Fox you have listed the Bears vs Seahawks listed as the national game at 3:15. So what do you do? Televise the Cowboys vs Redskins. Again you are assholes too.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Someone woke up Big Ben

I was surprised to see the passion Wallace played with last night. Nine points and thirteen rebounds along with his block six steals and being the defensive anchor we hoped for when he signed. I know I come across as a Ben Gordon hater but last night he played very well. I love seeing him cut to the basket and when his shot is on he is awesome. I have often wondered if his defensive liability is too great. If he continues to play like he did last night I can live with it because he is the best pure scorer on the team. Now all we need is the inside scoring presence and all will be good in the world

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Man vs Wild

In a previous post I mentioned the new season of Man vs Wild. I'll tell you what he has pulled out all the stops this season. Just look at this video

I'll never look at a camel the same again

Friday, November 16, 2007

I need satellite radio

Every morning I drive to work and I am forced to listen to horrible radio because there is no alternative. Every station has some idiotic morning show that hurts to listen to. On Thursday nights I am taking a class and it ends at 9:30PM. On the way home last night I was thumbing through the stations and there was absolutely nothing to listen to. Then I was surprised then the radio stopped on 95 KGGO and I heard Twisted Sister's "Were not going to take it" and I was so happy I could not believe it. That song an anthem to me in the 80's. I began to reminisce about my old jean jacket with the Twisted Sister pin along with my Quiet Riot pin and the trinity was completed with the Def Leppard pin. Then some idiot starts talking stupid over the song I almost drove off the road. I could not believe it. I began to think that Iowans just don't care they have been beaten into submission and gleefully accept mediocrity. They should be angry and rage against the hand of oppression that causes them to accept things like horrible DJ's and bad fashion. It reminds me of the South Park episode where the kids found the man in the ice and one of the first comments was "he is wearing Eddie Bauer, we have not seen that in at least three years". They end up sending him to Des Moines because they think it is three years behind the rest of the country. The image of a large stone in a river comes to mind, the raging river will eventually grind the stone down to a mere pebble, this is what has become of the radio listeners here in Iowa. This is long winded way of saying I need satellite radio

Barry Bonds indicted

I am not a huge Barry Bonds fan. It has nothing to do with his play on the field. I think he is probably one of the best hitters to ever play baseball, I think he was a first ballot Hall of Fame inductee prior to the alleged steroid/HGH use. Most of what bothers me is the things I've heard about his conduct in the clubhouse and dealings with the media. If it plays out that he did use the drugs the only question I would have is why? You were in the Pantheon why ruin it? I also think that Mark McGuire is getting a free pass in this all. Being an asshole is not a crime but lying to a grand jury is. I believe that Barry is innocent until proven guilty but with the perception that he is guilty already in peoples minds I wonder if he will ever be able to get a fair trial. An asterisk by his name is the least of his worries.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

University of Iowa problems

As you may have heard there are three University of Iowa football players are under investigation. An old friend calls to offer support.

Coach Alford: Kirk how are you doing?
Coach Ferentz: Busy here, I assume you’ve heard of my problem.
CA: Yes I have. I am both disgusted and impressed.
CF: Disgusted? How so? You knew Pierre Pierce was a scumbag. Hell you probably recruited him because of it!
CA: Whoa there, sure I am disgusted by what they did. But you finally managed to come out from under my shadow. You knew you were the ugly little brother in Iowa City when I was there. But I only recruited one bad apple, you had three! In one year
CF: I would not say I was the ugly kid brother. Sure you had the star power won a national championship as a player.
CA: Don’t forget I played in the NBA.
CF: Barely. You were all pissy when the Pacers didn’t draft you in 1987. Instead they took Reggie Miller and how did that work out? They saw thru you then too bad Gary Barta believed all of your crap about building a winning tradition and family values. We would be much better off now.
CA: That is hitting below the belt! I was brought in there to bring the Hawkeye swagger back!
CF: How were you going to do that? Parade around Iowa City and expect people to give you free things? Then throw you softballs during press conferences? Only then to hide behind disingenuous faith? Maybe I should do that too! Look where it got you!
CA: I am hanging up now. All I wanted to do was show you some support!
CF: (screaming) GO TO HELL!

The Unit

It appears that in Tuesdays episode titled Play 16 Hector's death appears to be legitimate. As I read on the Internet fellow conspiracy minded people pointed out the lack of blood from Hector's wound. We later find out that it struck his spine and lodged in his chest. After the team arrived at the beach we see Jonas ordering Brown and Mack out so he could take care of business. Jonas then set about on his mission of atonement that was Biblical in scale. He marches into a rival terrorist factions HQ to find the person responsible for his comrades death. He then devises a plan and executes it. Jonas was double crossed in the meantime but is still able to rain death and destruction on two terrorist cells. Jonas ,the warrior monk, knew what was in store for him and yet he still walked into it in order to avenge his fallen comrade. I think it is quite possible that Jonas Blane is one of the horsemen of the Apocalypse joined by teammate Mack Gerhardt and Jack Bauer. With those two by his side there in no need for a fourth horsemen. We then see a more human side to the surviving team members preparing to say good bye to a fallen comrade. I still have suspicions that Col Ryan had something to do with it. But we had a glimpse into the personal side to Ryan when he places the bullet in the box on his shelf. I think that this demonstrates the burden of military command. I really thought that the episode was very good. On a down note I watched the episode via and I was a little disappointed with the software platform they use for full episodes replay. I watched it at work and it was choppy and disjointed.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Last evening

I was a responsible and proud parent last night. My oldest daughter is a member of her schools jazz band and their concert was last night at 7:30. So I missed The Unit at 8:00. I accepted this because I could see it on So we get to the school and find seats and the concert begins with the jazz band. They played very well for a group that has only practiced for six weeks. Next the middle school chorus came out. Mrs. Dizzle leans over to me here is our conversation.

Mrs Dizzle: Do you see that girl in the back row with the low cut turquoise fringed dress? Who would let their daughter wear that? Where the hell did she get that dress?
TDizzle: I think they are sitting in front of us. They must have broken into the Disney on Ice dressing rooms and stole it from Ariel the Little Mermaid.

As the concert goes on Mrs D leans over again.

Mrs D: Those clothes were ugly in the eighties and their still ugly now.
TDizzle: I agree all of these kids are dressed the same. I wonder if it was a collective bad decision or if their parents were punishing them by dressing them as slow kids.

All in all it was a good evening I get to see a concert and make fun of people

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dear Abby asks TDizzle to help with answer readers questions

DEAR ABBY/TDizzle: I am 20 years old and for the time being, I live with my parents. My problem is our elderly neighbor, "John." John recently divorced his wife and now lives alone.
He spends most of his time on his computer having inappropriate conversations with extremely young-sounding girls via the Internet. He must be hard of hearing because he turns the sound up loud, and I can hear it all hours of the night.
I see John on a daily basis, but I don't want to say anything to him, and I don't want to call the police because I'd be embarrassed when I see him. I'm not sure how to fix this problem. What do you think? -- SLEEPLESS IN FORT MADISON, IOWA
Dear Sleepless in Fort Madison IA:

First off I would not ask to borrow “John’s” keyboard that is for sure. The obvious question is; are you sure you are not John? If you are be honest with yourself. Because if you are not John I think that you are a boring little dipshit that is jealous of an elderly man who is obviously having more luck with the ladies than you are currently having. If you are “John” why are you not out talking to women in person? Are you that hideous? Remember if they are on the internet talking to you they’re probably just as hideous as you! Your problem is two fold one is that you are living with your parents. Second you’re preoccupied with your elderly neighbor. I would not be embarrassed to see John maybe you should ask him for some advice because at least he is talking to women. A wise man once told me don’t hate the playa hate the game.


Monday, November 12, 2007


Poor Chuck. In tonights episode he confesses his love for Sarah while they have taken a truth potion. He confesses his feelings to her and she tells him that things are not going to go anywhere. Later Casey confronts her to see if she compromised herself and she reveals she has been trained to resist sodium penathol. Then Chuck dumps her. I realize this is TV but the Dizzle feels horrible for Chuck. I think it will be interesting to see how this is worked out. Actually I kind of know thanks to But I won't spoil it for you.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

24 Season 7

I heard that this has been delayed due to the Writers Guild strike. Here is the trailer and I am sure we will not be disappointed!

New season of Man vs Wild

Last Friday I caught the first episode of the new season. Prior to that they had re-edited some of the old episodes because members of the crew reported that Bear had received help during the filming. For instance in the Alaska episode you hear his voice over state a member of the crew had better luck catching a salmon. Bear then grabs the salmon and bites into it. Personally I am not too concerned who caught the damn thing he still killed a living salmon by eating it. In my opinion that is hard core. Then he jumps in the freezing water after a glacier hits his boat. Once again hard core. In the Iceland episode he eats the eyes and other meat from a mountain goat after he cooks it in a thermal geyser. I am not sure what people's definition of tough is but I think that is close enough for me.

Friday, November 9, 2007

The Unit conspiracy theory surrounding Hector's death

This came to me yesterday during a moment of work avoidance. As I mentioned in a previous post my buddy Greg and I discussed a possible conspiracy well yesterday the light clicked on. If you remember the first two episodes this season Blane's A-team was on the run after being framed by the CIA. Col Ryan was testifying before a congressional panel about the units actions when his wife intervened on his behalf. The discovery of the floating prison run by a private military company was exposed and Ryan's wife was trying to get him to see the light about who really runs this country and how she could help him. I began to wonder if Ryan went off the deep end after Hector's discovery of he and Tiffy at the motel? He contacts his wife begs for help and she helps him because she is a cold blooded back stabber but is happy because he is doing what it takes to protect his career finally. And then has her "friends" arrange for Blane's team to run into obstacles during their extraction and if that fails take out Hector. What Ryan has done in military circles is a serious crime that can be prosecuted under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) and he knows that along with that will come loss of his command and the respect of his peers. If you ask me that is enough to drive him to eliminate Hector and if need be the whole team.

This is the Bulls team I want to see!

I have been a little disappointed with the Bulls season so far but that all changed last night. I thought they played with the intensity we have seen in the past two seasons. Up until yesterday I was thinking we had the losing end of the Eddy Curry trade but Tyrus Thomas had a great performance last night. When he is able to slash and get the high percentage shots inside the paint and stay out of foul trouble I like what I see. When he was recruited at LSU he was a point guard but he ended up growing four inches so needless to say I want to see him run the break and finish more. I had a feeling that they would come to play against the Pistons and I was not disappointed.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Unsure of parenting job

Last night my oldest daughter and I were driving home from the chiropractor when we came up behind a honey wagon. What is a honey wagon you ask? The name is misleading as you will see. In Iowa there are a lot of hog confinements. Their waste is gathered in a pit and these honey wagons collect it and farmers then spray it on their fields for fertilizer. To say that these smell is probably an understatement. When we approached and the smell hit us we looked at each other and we both busted into the scene from Anchorman where Brian Fantana and Ron Burgundy are discussing Brian's cologne choice. We both open with "that is a formidable odor, it stings the nostrils". We both had a good laugh then she ups the ante with "sixty percent of the time it works every time". I was happy that she has inherited my twisted sense of humor, however I wondered what kind of parent raises a child who quotes Anchorman? Another of her favorites is The Office diversity day episode. I guess I can only wait and see

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The Unit

This is hands down one of my favorite shows. The cast is led by Dennis Haysbert who you may know as President David Palmer from another favorite of mine 24. Haysbert plays CSM Jonas Blane who leads a team of elite special operatives on missions around the globe. Also on this team is MSG Mack Gerhardt played by Max Martini, he was in Saving Private Ryan as well as The Great Raid. My friend Greg and I debate who is the baddest of the two; I've always leaned towards Mack because his character has a sort of hillbilly abandon, drink up, kick ass, kill and worry about it later. On the other hand Blane is more of the warrior scholar or monk. This show appeals to be because of my time in the military and it has a ton of violence and action. If you remember from my post about a new favorite Chuck this is high on my list.

Last nights episode a member of Blane's team was killed. This sparked a serious debate last night between myself and my friend Greg. In the previous episode one of the team members, Hector Williams, discovered their commanding officer Col. Tom Ryan had rekindled his affair with Mack's wife. Well lo and behold Hector gets killed by a sniper. It is unknown whether or not he told anyone of his discovery. Well Greg and I treated this like a conspiracy. First off Mack's wife is a ho, and for those of you who don't know there is no 12 step program for ho's. This affair between her and Ryan is nothing new and it is odd that one week after Williams discovering it he is dead. I began to wonder here you have an elite team of spec ops soldiers and all you do is fire one shot? Plus there was at least another squad of soldiers that came to extract them. This is what is called in military terms a target of opportunity. I am not sure if this was a conspiracy or an ironic incident but I do know one thing from the previews of next weeks show Blane is going to become and finger of God and is going to rain death and destruction upon those who killed his friend.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Charlie and his boss discuss their recent loss.

Kevin Brown: Coach Weis how are you today?
Coach Weis: Oh fine, yesterday the wife and I went shopping for new linens and ate lunch at a delightful little restaurant.
KB: You were able to eat after another loss on Saturday?
CW: I meant I broke down film and I am getting an appeal ready to send to the NCAA... Then we went linen shopping.
KB: We are 1-8. We lost to a team we have beat for forty-three years! St. Mary's wants to play us! Matter of fact Vegas has us as a two touchdown dog!
CW: They're a girls school I am sure we can cover that spread. Sharpley will pass all over them.
CW: Oh. Well they have battleships, submarines and things like that.
KB: No they don't! They are 5-4! An actual quality opponent! They may even go to a bowl!
CW: A bowl of pasta sounds good right now. Why are you clutching your chest? Are you ok Kevin? You don't look so good.
CW: We play Air Force next, they may beat us.
KB: Help me!

Weekend observations

I expected a higher scoring game in Indianapolis yesterday. I knew that Brady would out shine Manning during the game. I think it was a matter of body language. There were constant shots of both of them on the sidelines. Peyton looked tense while Brady looked cool and composed.

The Packers suprised me a little too. I had the TV on in the background and when Favre took the field in that game winning drive I thought that we would see one of those legendary interceptions followed by him walking off the field shaking his head with the look of disbelief on his face.

And finally the Bulls. How does that young core look now? Hinrich, Gordon and Deng have accounted for 31 of the 51 turnovers committed this season. I think the trade rumors have had a affect on them. Along with not signing the contract extensions you have a recipe for disaster. I think that Gordon and Deng may regret not doing so.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Ask TDizzle

I guess word has gotten out that I can dispense advice. Here is a question I received from a reader in West Ames.

Dear TDizzle,

Why is it that women will call the nastiest, masochist (and frankly retarded) lyrics romantic if they are set to a slow, R&B beat? Is this because deep down because these women really are slutty and though they would never admit, would enjoy being picked up by the side of the road by a guy with a Camaro who just wants to know “if there is any more room for me in those jeans”?

Confused in West Ames

Dear Confused in West Ames;

Women want bastards, if you treat me bad I’ll do what ever you want. I have often wondered if the slow R&B beat lulls them into a semi-hypnotic state. One in which they will do as the song says. The Camaro and being picked up on the side of the road; this one stumped Dizzle a little bit. Upon further pontification the only explanation I can come with is they are hoping to put a name to their current John Doe paternity suit. They long for the rusty multicolored 1978 Camaro blaring Billy Squire ‘the Stroke” so their baby will have a daddy. Life can get lonely in the double wide without a man at your side. Come to think of it that sounds like a country music song. And the eternal question of is there any room for me in those jeans? Some of the women I’ve seen there is barely enough room in those jeans for themselves let alone you or me!



Farewell to an American hero

Paul Tibbets has died at the age of 92. Who is Paul Tibbets you ask? He is the man who piloted the Enola Gay that dropped the A-bomb on Hiroshima thus ushering in the nuclear age of warfare. I remember listening to NPR a few years ago and heard a story about how he lived modestly in Columbus Ohio and many people did not realize his contribution to the war effort. Many people may read this and be disgusted that I used the word hero to describe him, so be it. But his actions saved the lives not only of hundreds of thousands servicemen but Japanese civilians as well.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Dear Abby asks TDizzle to help with answer readers questions part 2

Abby asked for help with this one.

DEAR ABBY/TDizzle: Call me confident, but I know I am a real catch. But for the life of me, I can't get a date with the "right" kind of guy.
Abby, I am beautiful inside and out. I was raised in a great family with good morals, I'm kind to everyone, I've got a killer personality, great sense of humor, an inspiring attitude, and the glass is always half-full.
This may seem cocky, but my two problems with men are: I seem to attract creeps, and the kind of men I deserve don't think they've got a shot in hell, so they don't ask me out.
Most of the dates and relationships I've had have happened because I asked the other person out. I've been in two major relationships with very attractive, bright men, and I'd like to experience that again.
I'm so sick of meeting creeps! I really want someone in my league. I've been told a thousand times that I'm gorgeous, stunning, or asked why I'm not modeling. Yesterday someone called me Miss America. I'm well-read and in tune with the arts, smart and funny. Where are the male equivalents? -- DATELESS 23-YEAR-OLD

Dear Dateless: Someone should take the pedestal you’ve placed yourself on and beat you with it.
The description you’ve given of yourself is one of the girls who everyone hates in high school; the overachieving cheerleader/soccer tramp/spoiled kid. Your killer personality translates to boring dipshit and inspiring attitude I read as an ass kisser who tries to use her “catch” status to make points at work without sleeping with their boss. He does not want the inspiration he wants you!

You attract creeps because you are one. The attractive and bright men know a time honored secret passed on from man to man; no matter how good lucking you are; or perceive yourself to be, someone is sick of putting up with your shit. I hope this helps


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Some people should not be allowed to speak in public

I was is Taco John's for lunch; today is Taco Tuesday with a $ .69 taco special. As I am waiting for my to go order these two guys standing behind me start talking. The one who looked like a garden gnome pipes up "I don't understand why you would come here on Tuesday and order a chalupa? It is Taco Tuesday, not chalupa Tuesday". Then the semi-nerdy guys says "straight up"! Garden Gnome then adds "I saw some guy throw away almost a full order of potato ole's! That is an insult! To me, you and even Whiplash"! For those of you who don't know Whiplash is a Capuchin monkey who rides a dog in their commercials. How can you insult a dog riding monkey? Why is this insulting to you Mr. Garden Gnome? Why are you talking? Don't you realize there are women in her? Judging from your appearance you probably don't have a girlfriend and judging by the way you are talking you may never get one. Your behavior all but guarantees that you will not be passing your genes on anytime soon so you will probably die alone. I am sorry to tell you this but I feel compelled to get this off my chest.

Identifying with Old School

Last weekend I was flipping the channels when I came across Old School on TBS. I thought this was the perfect way to kill a few hours. It caused me to reminisce a little bit. I was a member of a fraternity in college and the scenes of rush made me laugh. I love Vince Vaughn's character especially when he tells the pledges they will give nothing back to academic society. And of course Will Ferrell as Frank the Tank. I could definitely identify with both of them. I never streaked to the quad but I did my share of beer bongs back in the day. I will be honest with you there are some days I am surprised I survived to graduate college and become a productive citizen.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Dear Abby asks TDizzle to help answer readers questions

Dear Abby has asked me to help out this week with an overflow of letters so let's get started!

DEAR ABBY/TDizzle: I am basically your average seventh-grader with divorced parents. My dad is about to get married again. I like my future stepmom, except for one thing. She never buckles her seat belt. She says it's uncomfortable, and she doesn't like it.

She recently moved here from Colombia, but that does not excuse her from obeying our laws. I don't know what to do. My dad tells her to buckle up, but she never does. What should I do? -- STRAPPED IN TIGHT

Dear Strapped in Tight: Your future stepmother does not want to see let alone hear anything from you. You are a constant reminder of a your fathers previous relationship and sees his child support payment to your mother as a drain on their finances. She would like nothing more than to bid rid of you since the extra money would come in handy. And by the way if she "moved" here from Columbia chance are your father met her on the internet and those bridal clearinghouses are not cheap. If your father is that much of a pathetic dipshit that he had to "move" your stepmother from Columbia chances are you will have to as well. So think about how you will feel when your goody two shoes progeny reminds your purchased second wife about a seat belt. The apple does not fall far from the tree!

Chicago Sports teams

I am tired of the arrogance of the powers that be in Chicago Sports. They have fallen in love with players who don't perform or let key players go. All the while their divisions are getting better and the windows of opportunity are closing. I have some ideas on how to fix this, I will start with the Bears.

You run Thomas Jones out of town for Cedric Bensen. He cannot pass block or run for that matter. No big off season signings. We lost the Super Bowl and we let go of a coordinator, cut our nose tackle, and settled on a bad running back. The Patriots lost in the AFC Championship Game and they went out a signed Randy Moss! Why? Because they want to WIN! Griese/Grossman have no studs in the stable Muhsin Mohammed is good but he is getting older and has no one to take pressure off of him. Then the defense is bad Brian Urlacher is hurt and behaving like a child Mike Brown is out and Adam Archuleta is just bad. At least there is only eight more games

I almost agree with not going after Kobe because you would have gutted the team. But then you let Kevin Garnett go to the Celtics and team with Ray Allen and Paul Pierce. They have got to be the favorite in the Eastern Conference. The Knicks traded for Zach Randolph who is a low post scoring threat that we needed. We draft Noah who is an energy guy like Tyrus Thomas. I wonder if "energy" is code word for bad. Thomas has a ton of potential but seems uninterested in getting it together. Noah has little offense and is a defensive player much like the guy you pay $15 million a year; Ben Wallace. Then the big off season signing Joe Smith. I hope Luol Deng makes a huge leap we are expecting because all of a sudden we look like the losers in the Curry deal.

Even though they made the playoffs they have issues. Soriano will only hit lead off and he is bad at that. You paid Marquis a lot of money to be bad. Now you have to go and find a starting pitcher make a decision on Wood and Prior. I would tender Wood an offer with a promise of seeing the back end of the rotation or as the closer. Rumor has it Prior will not start throwing until June so let someone else pay him to rehab. Then there is the outfield let go of the mentally ill Floyd go after someone like Torii Hunter and platoon Murton in right with Jones.

And finally; the beloved
White Sox
Some feeble minded people will probably say the Red Sox won this year last time they did that we won the next year! It is fate. I think we need to let Uribe go and solidfy the middle with someone like Eckstein or Renteria at short and go after Andruw Jones or Torii Hunter in center. Both come from winning organizations and will bring a professional attitude. I believe that the Braves may let Renteria go because while he was on the DL his replacement played pretty well. If we do this I think we could let Brian Anderson and Josh Fields battle it out for left field, Podsednik needs to go too. Hopefully Contreras will bounce back or we resign Garland and find another servicable starter to go with Buerhle, Vasquez and Garland. Hopefully someone from the trade of Brandon McCarthy; by the way I hated this trade, will show up and perform.

I believe that all of the GM's have shown to some degree or another an institutional arrogance be it falling in love with their "core"; Paxton or Williams trading away a bona fide starter for projects. I am glad I got that off my chest

Friday, October 26, 2007

Favorite show of fall 2007-Chuck

At first I ignored this show but I caught the premiere episode on and I was hooked. It combined some of my favorite things information technology, hot dogs, action and mindless violence. Information Technology is easy because that is how I make a living, I enjoy the action movie genre and being from the Chicagoland area I love hot dogs. One of my first jobs was working at a hot dog stand in my neighborhood; the torch of hot dog stand employment has been passed to my younger sister Kris. Serve honorably Krissy! There were two girls who worked there, neither of which were remotely attractive one of them ended up having a baby with some Chicago Bears player, or at least that was the rumor, the other was a redneck who probably satisfied truckers during her breaktime. My friend Mark wanted to be on that shit. None of them could hold a weenie to Sarah Walker portrated by Yvonne Strahovski.

Anyway if you have not given the show a chance I suggest you do, you will not be disappointed.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Two old friends reconnecting

CF: Pick up the phone already

CA: Hello.

CF: Hey Steve it's me Kirk.

CA: How are you doing? How are things in Hawkeye Nation (giggling)?

CF: Rough. Since you left town everyones ire is directly on me. These people expect me to actually win they're not buying this building for the future shit anymore. Did you see what Purdue did to us?

CA: That was rough my friend. It is nice to be here in New Mexico the only things hot here is the sun. I am tan and playing a little golf, talking at some alumni events getting free meals and things like that.

CF: Obviously none of them have heard of your history here in Iowa City. Man talk about the good ole days, walk around high fiving and fist bumping these morons, talk in coachspeak using words like synergy, cohesion bringing back the Hawkeye pride. I envy you.

CA: I am truly blessed my friend.

CF: Still running off at the mouth about that too? If people only knew!

CA: That is the beauty! They don't. Talk about resurrection! I figure it took them seven years to get sick of me in Iowa. Seven years here and I'll be in my early fifties then I can do TV. That's when the big bucks start rolling in.

CF: You're such a tool. Maybe I should start recruiting low lives like you did? Does Pierre Pierce have any brothers or cousins? Hopefully the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

CA: I beat you to them.

CF: Bastard. What am I supposed to do?

CA: Nothing just roll with it, I did. Follow the Alford scorched earth program and I promise you will land on your feet somewhere else probably making more money than you are now.

CF: Thanks Steve! Give my best to the wife and kids!

CA: You too!

Monday, October 22, 2007

I hate you Chris Berman

Dear Chris;

This morning I turned on ESPN hoping to see some highlights from the Bears vs. Eagles game; you see I live in Iowa and that game was not the Fox game in my area it was the Cowboys vs. Vikings. I listened to the game over the internet but I missed the final few minutes because my wife had brought dinner home and we were eating. Afterwards I went to my Chicago Sports website and I see that they had won. I digress well anyway like I said I turned on ESPN and you were going on about New England who beat Miami handily. Then you went on and called Tom Brady handsome and well dressed. If you like him that much it is okay, people are much more accepting these days. Maybe he feels the same about you! The two of you could live happily ever after. All I wanted to see was the final drive? That was a gut check, a season changing drive instead I had to watch you profess you love of Tom Brady. I hope you choke on him; aimless wander into traffic or any one of a hundred painful things.

Yours truly

T Dizzle

Post game questions with Coach Ferentz

TD: Thanks for taking my questions today coach.

CF: No problem Tom.

TD: Tough loss today to the Boilermakers. It seemed like a letdown especially since that emotional win against Illinois last week. Any thoughts?

CF:That was tough. And coming to play here in West Lafayette is tough. But boy letdown is a tough word. I think we played them closer than the final score dictates.

TD: Really? Curtis Painter threw the ball where ever he wanted completing 29 of 48 passes for 315 yards and three touchdowns. You were down by eleven at the half. Then you came out stale to start the second half finally getting a field goal. Then you had Purdue on a third and twelve and your vaunted defense allowed a 33 yard touchdown from Painter to Bryant. Walk me thru that, no pressure on the QB? Then you have a good return and Purdue's horrible defense caused you to punt.

CF: Those are all valid points you make. But the game looks different from the sidelines then it does on TV.

TD: On TV it looked like an asskicking.

CF:We have four games left and lets see where we go from here.

TD: Yes MSU, Minnesota, Northwestern and Western Michigan those could be four wins and a possible bowl bid. Is that what you need to keep you job?

CF: Whoa let's not get out of hand with the expectations here. All you guys want to talk about is expectations. Can we win those? Sure; but if I say that fans are going to want it and maybe even demand it. That is a lot of pressure to put me under.

TD: That is why you get paid the money. The fans and alumni expect you to field an elite program and bowl victories. Not just crappy bowls either. That begs the question, are you on the hot seat?

CF: I believe the Dolphins are on the phone for me.

TD: They just hired a new coach

CF: I mean the Falcons.

TD: I think they just hired a coach too, so did Arizona, Pittsburgh and the Raiders.

CF: Crap.

TD: Well I'll leave you to think about your failing the alumni and Hawkeye faithful.

CF: Great talking to you

Friday, October 19, 2007

Coach Chizik meets with his life coach part 2

TD: Coach; are you in here?
CC: I am in the corner.
TD: Are you sucking your thumb? Is that your Texas security blanket?
CC: Coach Brown is that you? It was all a bad dream! I am back in Austin thank God! I dreamt I was at Iowa State and you ran the score up on me even though you said you wouldn't. Colt was majestic in that game thrashing their defense, throwing precise passes to our receivers. He even scored on our first possession because their defense crumbled! Oh thank you!
TD: This is worse than I thought. Coach you are at Iowa State; that really happened. let me turn on the light in here.
CC: Oh no! What did I do to deserve this? How did I think that I could turn this program around? Did you see how happy Coach McCarney looks at USF?
TD: Settle down coach. It's not that bad. Things are looking up.
CC: They are?
TD: No not really I just was searching for something to say. I got nothing. Sorry to piss in your punch but you play Oklahoma this weekend.
CC: They're going to kill us! If Texas beat us 56-3; what are they going to do? How an I going to convince anyone to come here if I can't be competitive? I am calling Coach Brown to see if he will take me back.
TD: PUT DOWN THE PHONE. Is this the first time you have had a team that could not stop my grandmother in her walker? Come to think if it it probably is; maybe you should send flowers to him too.
CC: Good idea.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Bulls question

Is Kobe worth trading away Paxson's young core? I am not so sure this core as great as people think it is. Out of Deng, Gordon and Hinrich I would keep Deng; the other two I would trade for Kobe along with Thomas or Sefolosha and a draft pick. I am hesitant to call anyone on the Bulls untouchable. Last year Wallace was supposed to get us over the hump and that did not work. I wonder if they would like to get out from under that contract? I just do not see this group winning a championship.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I love YouTube

I was browsing some of my favorite blogs this morning and on With Leather there was a clip from SNL this past week which was a parody of an NBC commercial for Notre Dame football. Needless to say I thought this was funny so I went to YouTube and found another jem. Follow the link and enjoy.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Random weekend thoughts

First off
Chicago Bears. Damn I wish we had the other Adrian Peterson 20 rushes for 224 yards. Damn he is good instead we have the crappy Adrian Peterson. I am thinking the Bears may not make the playoffs let alone the Super Bowl again.

Purdue. Please don't do this to me again. The last three years you start out 5-0 then you crap the bed on me. You need to beat Iowa this weekend or I'll never hear the end of it from JB.

Iowa State vs. Texas. 56-3. Talk about an ass kicking. Gene Chizik was the defensive coordinator for Texas last year maybe he knew that they could not stop Texas so they didn't even try. Then to rub salt in the wound Mack Brown said he didn't want to run the score up on his friend Gene. Obviously running up the score to me is different than running up the score to Mack. Mack you're an asshole.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Information Technology gripe of the day

When I am having an e-mail server issue please do not ask me to e-mail you an error message. Chances are you may not receive it

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Post season meeting between Lou and Alfonso

LP: Come in Alfonso.

AS: Hola el jefe.

LP: I like to have this end of season meeting with everyone just to kind of give you some feedback and some things to think about during the off season.

AS: I did good yes?

LP: Well no

AS: You are not pleased?

LP: Let's be honest when you and I came here people expected us to win and win big. I am afraid that we may not have met the fans expectations. And if we fail the fans they will not come out to the ballpark and if they don't come out the people upstairs are going to wonder why.

AS: That is no good.

LP: I want to talk to you about your playoff performance. You were 2 for 14 with one walk and four strikeouts. How many times did you swing at the first pitch and ground meakly to the third baseman? Then when we needed to to come up big you hit a shot and you stood there admiring it like Barry Bonds. And only got a single!

AS: Barry Bonds is good

LP: You are missing the point! You need to take a pitch, work the count let the opposing pitcher work a little bit. Right now they know you will swing at anything they throw at you. You only had one walk during the playoffs and it was intentional walk and you swung the damn bat!

AS: That is how we do in the Dominican Republic.

LP: (Face turning red) That is not how we do it here! Bottom line we paid you a shitload of money to hit a ton of lead off home runs we need more production from you!

AS: You have been around a long time jefe, you should have expected this from me. Why do you think the Yankees traded me? Because I showed no plate discipline, was a so so second baseman and disappeared in the playoffs. I am a cheaper version of A-Rod except he hits more home runs and is a better fielder. The Yankees wanted to add payroll just to be rid of me. Now I am your problem. Who else will take me I am overpaid and getting old, matter of fact I man not even be thirty two, record keeping in the Dominican Republic is bad I could be as old as thirty six! My skills will continue to diminish and my contract will be an albatross for years.

LP: (Clutching chest and turning red) GET OUT!

AS: Adios el jefe.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

A bit of nostalgia

Last evening I was listening to some lyrical poetry provided by Milli Vanilli and began to reminisce about my younger days in particular the late eighties to early nineties. To say I did a lot of stupid things would be an understatement it would like saying water is wet. Back then I only had two goals, one was to have a secretary and the second was to have a camaro. The rest was only a means to accomplish these goals. I had my blue and gray denim jacket and I probably could have passed for Ralph Macchio's little brother, I probably used that line at Wright's Barnyard a few times. Do I have any regrets? No not really. Would I change anything? That is a loaded but moot question. Maybe my decision to try to swim to Michigan to avoid the Hammond Police Department at a beach party was not too smart but it makes for a great story.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Long long weekend

The baseball season for me is over. I don't really care about any of the remaining teams I would like to see the Indians get stomped other than that it's over. I have not listened to much radio this weekend but I am sure that I will hear this phrase before too long from some Cubs fans, "it was a great season". NO NO NO only one team will have a great season and it will be the one who hoists the trophy over their heads in a few weeks. So what you went from 66 wins to 85 we spent like a drunken sailor on shore leave. You needed to win it all. There were a few positives on the season. One Ted Lilly was a good signing but let's see what he does next season. De Rosa was a good signing too. He played four positions this year. Finding out what you had in Theriot were all positives. Well on to the negatives. Soriano, we paid this guy what $136 million for a guy who will only bat leadoff, can't hit a curve ball and realistically has not gotten any better since we came to the bigs. He has a career .216 BA in the playoffs, you have a leadoff hitter in Theriot but no you over spent on Soriano. I want him to run out of the batters box maybe take a pitch or two. I am afraid next time he takes one of those huge swings and misses he is going to drill himself into the ground. In August when he pulled up like Barbaro at the Preakness I was hoping he was done for the year but it was not meant to be. He is not the only reason the Cubs lost Lee and Ramirez decided not to show up either. None of the big three showed up this series matter of fact these three are the new Wood and Prior.

On a lighter side the Bears won. It was the first game I've seen from coin toss to heroic Favre interception in the endzone with time expiring. Next time I have to watch a Packers game in Lambeau I hope they do not scan the crowd. Wisconsin ,besides being a leading dairy producer, produces some ugly people. No wonder they drink so much it is the only way to avoid the mass plague of ugliness I'll bet the cows would drive themselves to the slaughter house to avoid seeing that for another day. I've spent significant time in Wisconsin, I was going to go to grad school in Wisconsin and yet I did not notice it, maybe it is localized to Green Bay. Time will tell

Friday, October 5, 2007

Thanks for the memories

Last night I was driving to pick up my daughter when the Journey song Don't stop believing was playing. I started to think about 2005 that wonderful season when the White Sox won the World Series. Somehow this song became the anthem of the 2005 White Sox and my thoughts drifted to that night in October when Orlando Palmiero grounded to Uribe, Uribe to Konerko and game over. SOX WIN SOX WIN! All the years of terrible baseball at old Comiskey the first year at new Comiskey when Mark, Jim and I are sitting there in September in winter coats and drinking beer at that moment it didn't matter. They won and I was satisfied. I may not get to experience that again but at least we had it once in my lifetime.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Close but no cigar.

I thought that the Cubs had a chance of winning this game last night. Zambrano was on but so was Brandon Webb. Zambrano went six strong innings striking out eight, I can see why Pinella pulled him thinking he would need him for game four and he put in Marmol who has been lights out as well. However you need to win game one or there maybe no game four. Part of the problem is that your number one and two hitters, Soriano and Jones, were a combined 0-9 last night. That would not have been too bad if Ramirez, Floyd and Soto had not gone 0-11. Plus they left a ton of runners in scoring position you can't win in the post season if you don't produce.

I am a little disappointed with Soriano, I have been all season but last night exemplified it. Webb decided to pitch him like opposing pitchers pitched to Cerrano in file Major League; throw him a fast ball he hits it throw him a curve or anything off speed and he can't hit it. So I beg Soriano to do what Pedro Cerrano did in that epic film: Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come.

Make it a double for Jobu bartendar and Alfonso try looking at a pitch or two no more one pitch one out. Please

The Office

I am a huge fan of this show however I am a little worried about Jim and Pam dating. In the past many shows were ruined when a relationship became part of the storyline. When this line of thought came to mind I went to and my worries were verified; a list of shows that "jumped the shark" were as follows:

Cheers- Sam and Diana started dating
Frasier-Niles and Daphne
Northern Exposure-Joel and Maggie
Moonlighting-Dave and Maddie

Other shows that were bad to begin with:
Friends-Ross and Rachael, Chandler and Monica. I personally hated this show from the get.
The Nanny-Fran and Maxwell. If they wanted to improve this show they would have killed off Fran.

Anyway I hope this show does not follow suit.


At 2:30 break yesterday we were discussing politics when my friend Jo mentioned a Mitt Romney interview where he said that Republicans need to stop acting like Democrats and return to our fiscally responsible roots that Republicans have been known for. Jo went a step further and said Democrats and Republican need to stop acting as such and start acting like Americans. Well said Jo.

I wish Fred Thompson would go away. All he has to say is a lot of nothing and he tries to play the down home folksy good ole boy. Wasn't that our current president's approach too? I predict that many of the initial support is because of his role on Law and Order. When people realize that Arthur Branch is not running for the presidency his support will wane. I predict that we will more than likely see a Giuliani/Huckabee ticket. Rudy has the mass appeal and Mike will appeal to the social conservatives.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Thanks Isiah

I guess you can say I hate the Knicks. Their roster sucks I've not seen this much manure since I cleaned out my horses stalls. Don't get me wrong Isiah has drafted some good talent in the past but man James Dolan must be an idiot. Let's see you have Marbury, Crawford and Q at guards they play no D and will shoot at will from the bench if you let them. Davind Lee is decent at forward I am interested to see how the brother from DePaul , as Spike Lee called him on draft night, Wilson Chandler does because Isiah can identify talent and harass women. Then he trades away Channing Frye for Zach Randolph. Every team needs an overweight psychopath who plays no defense on their team. Pair him with the lazy, overweight player with a heart problem and you have quite a line up. Who will rebound? Curry can if he would just jump. And now you throw in the sexual harassment verdict. What will Isiah do for an encore? How can he top this? Only time will tell

This morning

While I was driving in this morning I was listening to the song "1985" by Bowling for Soup. And it reminded me of the time my friends an I started a band. Well that maybe overstating it because we had a lack of the following; instruments and the ability to play an instrument. But dammit that was not going to stop us we wrote a few songs and Kenny recorded them. Now Kenny is deceased, Matt is a police officer and I am here keepin it real. It was a nice treat to conjure up those memories if only for a moment and laugh about youthful excitement. Thanks Kenny for the memory, Matt keep the streets safe and I'll talk to you later.

Coming out of the closet.

I am a closet Cubs fan. I have spend man a losing season watching Chicago baseball on both sides of town. I remember as a kid watching Chet Lemon and Ralph Garr play at old Comiskey, sitting in the picnic area while my dad heckled Ralph after a few beers. I saw Reggie Jackson play there along with Carl Yastrzemski play at Comiskey too. On the North side I have many similar memories seeing Sandberg play his final game there, being the only round eye in attendance when Hideo Nomo came to town and watching Zambrano pitch against Pettitte when the Yankees came to town. I want to see the Cubs win I think they may have more talent than the Diamondbacks but I am not sure it will happen. I believe that this doubt is Cublike and in turn makes me a Cubs fan. So to my coworkers who have long suspected this I am confessing.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Random thoughts

I have read that many Christian Conservatives want to start a third party because they are unhappy with the crop of Republican candidates. I think that introducing morality into polictics is a bad mix. Much like Vince McMahon's foray into professional football. I think that the GOP needs to focus on a candidate who can bring together a fragmented party and appeal to the wider base of voters. As a country we cannot have another administration who only appeals to a small portion of the electorate. I will admit I voted for Bush but I really wonder why. I'm a man without a party; the left scares me because of their naive approach to issues. If we pull out of Iraq it will be viewed as weakness. The Second World War ended in 1945 we still have troops in Germany and Japan; the Korean War ended in 1953 we still have troops in S. Korea. We will be in Iraq for a generation. Then there is health care. How will we pay for universal health care? Then the far right scares the shit out of me look what they have done! Need I say more?

Props to K-Fed. Guys have been stuck for years losing custody of their kids and paying child support out their noses. All you had to do was marry a skank father a few kids and now you are set for life. Both in the monetary and sexually transmitted disease categories.

I like the matchup with Zambrano starting the first game tomorrow vs. Webb. He pitches better away from Wrigley. So I am seeing a glimmer of hope Lilly will pitch the second game which I feel more comfortable with. Game three is where I start to worry I would rather see Hill go in that game. I think if it goes to a fourth game Z will pitch that one and game five would be Lilly on full rest. The D-Backs have a better record in one run games and maybe better defensively so it will be interesting.

Monday, October 1, 2007

The suffering is over

The White Sox season is over. I am happy for the Kevorkian like end to their season.

Talk about some ass clowns

Today the Cubs are having a rally in Chicago. Congratulations for staggering into the playoff and good luck in your last three games of the season. I have a feeling that they will not beat Arizona since they dropped 4 of 6 during the season. Once again sorry to pee in your punch Cubbies but against the NL West they were 17-18. I love Chicago, I like the Cubs but I hate ass clown Cubs fans who think they are awesome because they play in the weakest division in baseball, 83-79 they would have been in third place in the East and fourth in the West. Sorry I need to go to my happy place. If they get past Arizona I will give them their props and then I will be excited.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Cubs, Why am I not surprised?

You have been swept by the Marlins, I think you may be jealous that by this time next week they will be on vacation. Keep playing like this and you may be too. If Milwaukee gets hot and you continue to play like well the Cubs you can be on vacation too! Three games left and you need two to clinch. Jesus you deserved to to swept in the first round of the playoffs! I am sending Jim Hendry a letter purposing that the C emblem be replaced by the image in this post. The NL Central sucks my brother refers to it as the Comedy Central it was yours for the taking and yet you can't close the deal. I am at a loss for words