Coach Weis: Oh fine, yesterday the wife and I went shopping for new linens and ate lunch at a delightful little restaurant.
KB: You were able to eat after another loss on Saturday?
CW: I meant I broke down film and I am getting an appeal ready to send to the NCAA... Then we went linen shopping.
KB: We are 1-8. We lost to a team we have beat for forty-three years! St. Mary's wants to play us! Matter of fact Vegas has us as a two touchdown dog!
CW: They're a girls school I am sure we can cover that spread. Sharpley will pass all over them.
KB: THEY DON'T HAVE A TEAM! THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF US!!!!
CW: Oh. Well they have battleships, submarines and things like that.
KB: No they don't! They are 5-4! An actual quality opponent! They may even go to a bowl!
CW: A bowl of pasta sounds good right now. Why are you clutching your chest? Are you ok Kevin? You don't look so good.
KB: WIN A DAMN GAME! I PAY YOU A LOT OF MONEY TO COACH FOOTBALL (collapses and turns red)
CW: We play Air Force next, they may beat us.
KB: Help me!