Friday, September 28, 2007
You have been swept by the Marlins, I think you may be jealous that by this time next week they will be on vacation. Keep playing like this and you may be too. If Milwaukee gets hot and you continue to play like well the Cubs you can be on vacation too! Three games left and you need two to clinch. Jesus you deserved to to swept in the first round of the playoffs! I am sending Jim Hendry a letter purposing that the C emblem be replaced by the image in this post. The NL Central sucks my brother refers to it as the Comedy Central it was yours for the taking and yet you can't close the deal. I am at a loss for words
Thursday, September 27, 2007
The second is Airplane!
Everyone remembers the scene where the kid comes to the cockpit and Kareen Abdul Jabbar is the co-pilot. I have taken the liberty to rewrite it with a new co-pilot.
None other than Charlie Weis.
Young Joey enters the cockpit and is introduced to the pilot and notice the familiar face in the co-pilots seat.
Joey: I know you you're Charlie Weis! Coach of Notre Dame.
CW: No I'm not I am Roger Murdoch. I am an airline pilot, you must be mistaken.
Joey: We have season tickets. My dad says your having a bad year I say you are overrated and can't evaluate talent plus your schedule is nothing but fluff come on Duke, the service academies there isn't that much fluff inside of a twinkie. On top of that you're independent so you have no conference games that matter to anyone put you alumni base who rant on about how great ND is and tradition. When was your last national championship? Or meaningful bowl appearance for that matter? The only reason they keep you is because you an alumnus and they ran Ty Willingham out of town.
CW: Ty never had to put up with the pressure I have to! Plus the service academies have guns, tanks, airplanes and battleships! How can I compete against that?
Joey: They don't have any of that stuff. And Ty had a better record at this point in his third season than you do now. Face it the only reason you are still there is because you are a windbag alum part of the good ole boy network. And now they are stuck with you until 2015, there is no lemon law in college football. Just buyers remorse.
CW: I can't hear you I am in my happy place.
Joey: At least you are not alone Romeo Cronell has shit the bed in Cleveland too. Everyone thought that you and he were geniuses when you were winning championships in New England I guess it really was Bill Belichick afterall. Are you crying coach?
CW: Stewardess please take Joey back to his seat.
Joey: Better luck next year!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Coach: Come in.
TD: Glad you called me coach.
CC: Thanks for stopping by Tom on such short notice.
TD: You sounded worried on the phone so I rushed right over.
CC: I am a little worried Tom.
TD: Worried? I guess all fans out there are expecting another victory this weekend against Toledo. You may have opened Pandora box victories around here have been hard to come by.
CC: Damn right. What the hell do they think I'm capable of, if Iowa hadn't shit the bed we would be winless and there would be no pressure at all. Now because I beat a team that quite frankly is no good to begin with they expect results! Then Nebraska, Texas Tech, Texas and Oklahoma I can't win any of those games.
TD: At least you are being honest with yourself, that is a good thing. You're right you gave them a taste of what they were looking for. Last year they only won four games and at one point lost six in a row and then they barely beat Missouri. You gave them a drink or water while they were staggering thirstly in the desert. Gene wake up you are their Moses, lead them to the promised land!
CC: All I wanted was a head coaching job make some money and some free meals once in a while.
TD: You mean pull a Steve Alford?
CC: If he can do it why can't I?
TD: Your bigger than that Gene. Cyclone Nation has put their trust in you. Worse case scenario you get fired in a few years and get a coordinator job out of the spotlight and invest well I think that was Dan's plan.
CC: You always know how to cheer me up.
TD: My pleasure Coach.
P.S. Maslow is the only thing I remember from COM 114 in college. I should have paid better attention in that course.
Second it is Adam West's birthday you may know him as Batman from the 1960's TV series. Happy Birthday Batman!
And finally the Cubs! Ten games left and you drop one to the Reds, plus Houston has already started their vacation unfortunately they are playing Brewers. Now there is a tie at the top of the NL Central. The Brewers have 12 games left to play I see this ending badly.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
SJ: I would like to thank God for giving you so much and me so little.
CF: It's a pleasure to be here.
SJ: Coach first off there has to be some disappointment losing to a team that is so bad. How did you pull it off?
CF: Well first off my hats off to Coach Chizik and his staff for developing a game plan that rendered us mostly ineffective throughout much of the if not the whole first half. And for the second part of your question it was tough. We knew going in that they would be fired up for this game and to quite honest we were looking past them and towards Wisconscin next week. I love beer, cheese and brats and that is what Wisconscin is known for, I guess my lack of motivation this week filtered down to the team.
SJ: You get paid so much to field an elite team and yet you play so bad, do you feel like you have always been bad and this was covered up by former basketball coach Steve Alford performance?
CF: Man that is a tough one Silky. My compensation is based on a lot of variables when AD Gary Barta decided to extend me he knew he was getting an overrated coach to run a program that quite honestly never lives up to expectations. When I heard he was thinking about low balling me I started the rumors of going to the NFL. Gary thought that he could get a new coach and maybe turn things around or keep disappointing the fans.
SJ: He chose to continue to disappoint?
CF: Exactly! Now we have the remodeled stadium and we keep packing them in!
SJ: Last question coach, if you had to give the game a grade of either mark ass mark or trick ass mark what would you grade it?
CF: Definately mark ass mark.
SJ: I hope all the bad things in life happen to you.
CF: It's been a pleasure Silky.