DEAR ABBY/TDizzle: I am 20 years old and for the time being, I live with my parents. My problem is our elderly neighbor, "John." John recently divorced his wife and now lives alone.
He spends most of his time on his computer having inappropriate conversations with extremely young-sounding girls via the Internet. He must be hard of hearing because he turns the sound up loud, and I can hear it all hours of the night.
I see John on a daily basis, but I don't want to say anything to him, and I don't want to call the police because I'd be embarrassed when I see him. I'm not sure how to fix this problem. What do you think? -- SLEEPLESS IN FORT MADISON, IOWA
Dear Sleepless in Fort Madison IA:
First off I would not ask to borrow “John’s” keyboard that is for sure. The obvious question is; are you sure you are not John? If you are be honest with yourself. Because if you are not John I think that you are a boring little dipshit that is jealous of an elderly man who is obviously having more luck with the ladies than you are currently having. If you are “John” why are you not out talking to women in person? Are you that hideous? Remember if they are on the internet talking to you they’re probably just as hideous as you! Your problem is two fold one is that you are living with your parents. Second you’re preoccupied with your elderly neighbor. I would not be embarrassed to see John maybe you should ask him for some advice because at least he is talking to women. A wise man once told me don’t hate the playa hate the game.