Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Post season meeting between Lou and Alfonso

LP: Come in Alfonso.

AS: Hola el jefe.

LP: I like to have this end of season meeting with everyone just to kind of give you some feedback and some things to think about during the off season.

AS: I did good yes?

LP: Well no

AS: You are not pleased?

LP: Let's be honest when you and I came here people expected us to win and win big. I am afraid that we may not have met the fans expectations. And if we fail the fans they will not come out to the ballpark and if they don't come out the people upstairs are going to wonder why.

AS: That is no good.

LP: I want to talk to you about your playoff performance. You were 2 for 14 with one walk and four strikeouts. How many times did you swing at the first pitch and ground meakly to the third baseman? Then when we needed to to come up big you hit a shot and you stood there admiring it like Barry Bonds. And only got a single!

AS: Barry Bonds is good

LP: You are missing the point! You need to take a pitch, work the count let the opposing pitcher work a little bit. Right now they know you will swing at anything they throw at you. You only had one walk during the playoffs and it was intentional walk and you swung the damn bat!

AS: That is how we do in the Dominican Republic.

LP: (Face turning red) That is not how we do it here! Bottom line we paid you a shitload of money to hit a ton of lead off home runs we need more production from you!

AS: You have been around a long time jefe, you should have expected this from me. Why do you think the Yankees traded me? Because I showed no plate discipline, was a so so second baseman and disappeared in the playoffs. I am a cheaper version of A-Rod except he hits more home runs and is a better fielder. The Yankees wanted to add payroll just to be rid of me. Now I am your problem. Who else will take me I am overpaid and getting old, matter of fact I man not even be thirty two, record keeping in the Dominican Republic is bad I could be as old as thirty six! My skills will continue to diminish and my contract will be an albatross for years.

LP: (Clutching chest and turning red) GET OUT!

AS: Adios el jefe.

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