Monday, April 21, 2008

Weekend observations of Des Moines

On Saturday the family and I went to Des Moines to go shopping. The day began at the Olive Garden, normally I don't mind the OG but Saturday it bothered me. First we wait forty five minutes to be seated at 1:30 in the afternoon. The the waitress comes to us with a huge bottle of wine. Now T-Dizzle is no stranger to the liquid lunch but when you are sitting there with two kids chances are the liquid lunch is off the table. I was not irked by our waitress however the waiter at the next table just annoyed the living shit out of me. His name was Chad, this asshole had the whole "I am just a waiter until my acting career takes off" vibe. He had his little soul patch going and the fake voice going on. Then he starts with the new Olive Garden slogan "What are we celebrating today"? It is lunchtime asshole we are eating lunch here Chad. Then he asks the people if they need anything explained to them? It is pasta Chad! If it were something worthy of celebrating I would probably take the Mrs. to someplace nicer than the McDonald's of Italian food. Of course the table Chad was waiting on had someone with a birthday so he drags everyone to the table to sing not once but three times because people in the party were restroom and could not hear them. After that I had to leave, then we went on to Kohl's.
I have a friend Holly who moved to DC, she once told me she had to throw away her clothes because she was three years out of style. Well Holly the women of Central Iowa are still fueling the economy with their poor wardrobe choices. It was a truly painful experience. While the Mrs and the girls were looking for new outfits I wandered into the department with all of the picture frames. You could not find a frame without some little catch phrase like "live love laugh" or Family: all because two people fell in love... When did our lives become so meaningless that we need some stupid Hallmark phrase to give our lives meaning? If your life blows looking at the "dance like no one is watching"picture frame probably is not going to help you. I could go on but I think you get the point