University of Iowa problems

As you may have heard there are three University of Iowa football players are under investigation. An old friend calls to offer support.

Coach Alford: Kirk how are you doing?
Coach Ferentz: Busy here, I assume you’ve heard of my problem.
CA: Yes I have. I am both disgusted and impressed.
CF: Disgusted? How so? You knew Pierre Pierce was a scumbag. Hell you probably recruited him because of it!
CA: Whoa there, sure I am disgusted by what they did. But you finally managed to come out from under my shadow. You knew you were the ugly little brother in Iowa City when I was there. But I only recruited one bad apple, you had three! In one year
CF: I would not say I was the ugly kid brother. Sure you had the star power won a national championship as a player.
CA: Don’t forget I played in the NBA.
CF: Barely. You were all pissy when the Pacers didn’t draft you in 1987. Instead they took Reggie Miller and how did that work out? They saw thru you then too bad Gary Barta believed all of your crap about building a winning tradition and family values. We would be much better off now.
CA: That is hitting below the belt! I was brought in there to bring the Hawkeye swagger back!
CF: How were you going to do that? Parade around Iowa City and expect people to give you free things? Then throw you softballs during press conferences? Only then to hide behind disingenuous faith? Maybe I should do that too! Look where it got you!
CA: I am hanging up now. All I wanted to do was show you some support!
CF: (screaming) GO TO HELL!