Ask TDizzle

I guess word has gotten out that I can dispense advice. Here is a question I received from a reader in West Ames.

Dear TDizzle,

Why is it that women will call the nastiest, masochist (and frankly retarded) lyrics romantic if they are set to a slow, R&B beat? Is this because deep down because these women really are slutty and though they would never admit, would enjoy being picked up by the side of the road by a guy with a Camaro who just wants to know “if there is any more room for me in those jeans”?

Confused in West Ames

Dear Confused in West Ames;

Women want bastards, if you treat me bad I’ll do what ever you want. I have often wondered if the slow R&B beat lulls them into a semi-hypnotic state. One in which they will do as the song says. The Camaro and being picked up on the side of the road; this one stumped Dizzle a little bit. Upon further pontification the only explanation I can come with is they are hoping to put a name to their current John Doe paternity suit. They long for the rusty multicolored 1978 Camaro blaring Billy Squire ‘the Stroke” so their baby will have a daddy. Life can get lonely in the double wide without a man at your side. Come to think of it that sounds like a country music song. And the eternal question of is there any room for me in those jeans? Some of the women I’ve seen there is barely enough room in those jeans for themselves let alone you or me!

Regards,

TDizzle