Interview with Coach Ferentz

As many of you know Iowa lost to Iowa State on Saturday what many of you don't know is that our correspondant Silky Johnson had a chance to sit down with Coach Ferentz for a few minutes after the game here is what transpired

SJ: I would like to thank God for giving you so much and me so little.
CF: It's a pleasure to be here.
SJ: Coach first off there has to be some disappointment losing to a team that is so bad. How did you pull it off?
CF: Well first off my hats off to Coach Chizik and his staff for developing a game plan that rendered us mostly ineffective throughout much of the if not the whole first half. And for the second part of your question it was tough. We knew going in that they would be fired up for this game and to quite honest we were looking past them and towards Wisconscin next week. I love beer, cheese and brats and that is what Wisconscin is known for, I guess my lack of motivation this week filtered down to the team.
SJ: You get paid so much to field an elite team and yet you play so bad, do you feel like you have always been bad and this was covered up by former basketball coach Steve Alford performance?
CF: Man that is a tough one Silky. My compensation is based on a lot of variables when AD Gary Barta decided to extend me he knew he was getting an overrated coach to run a program that quite honestly never lives up to expectations. When I heard he was thinking about low balling me I started the rumors of going to the NFL. Gary thought that he could get a new coach and maybe turn things around or keep disappointing the fans.
SJ: He chose to continue to disappoint?
CF: Exactly! Now we have the remodeled stadium and we keep packing them in!
SJ: Last question coach, if you had to give the game a grade of either mark ass mark or trick ass mark what would you grade it?
CF: Definately mark ass mark.
SJ: I hope all the bad things in life happen to you.
CF: It's been a pleasure Silky.